Quite possibly the best music video ever.

Ivan Pacheco's snare drum solo.

SACK!

Uh oh. Did ya'll watch The Colbert Report last night? I did, and I have some bad news.

This is awesome!

Fun with the Wal-Mart Marketing Survey

The agency I work for belongs to a global network of independent agencies. Occasionally member agencies send out surveys to all of the other agencies in the network. Today, I got one from an anonymous agency apparently involved in the Wal-Mart AOR pitch. Below are the questions and my responses.

Please put on your consumer hat and take a couple of minutes to help this agency understand Wal-Mart's personality as a brand as they prepare for a pitch. Thank you for responding by end of day Tuesday, July 25.

1. If Wal-mart was a person, what would he/she be like?
What would they wear?
What would they drink?
What kind of a restaurant would they go to?
What kind of party would they throw?

If Wal-Mart was a person, she would have a penchant for Polyester and Beanie Babies. She would have at least two ribbon magnet on the back and/or sides of her Ford Taurus or Chevy Astro. If she wasn't drinking Wal-Mart brand cola, she would probably have heavily sweetened Ice tea in her hand -- instant will do. But in the evening, let's have a night cap. How does Milwaukee's Best sound? Better give me four. Having company, throwing a faux-country knick-knack party or just lounging around watching The Price is right? She’ll undoubtedly bust out a bottle of Peach Riuniti — on the rocks. What goes nicely with stretch pants than a T-shirt with a puppy on it? Maybe a sweatshirt adorned with puffy paint and sequins. Even a couple jingle bells, depending on the season. When it comes to feeding her family, she always treats them to a tantalizing spread that could include the likes of tuna casserole, beef stroganoff, fish sticks or Hamburger Helper. When it comes to dining out, though, it's either at McDonalds, (either the drive -thru or the handy Mickey-D's in the Wal-Mart) Cracker Barrel or Old Country Buffet. Occasionally, when they happen into a little extra dough from the slots or the scratch-off Lotto, they splurge and treat themselves to Red Lobster. It’s worth the wait.

2. What's great about Wal-Mart?

You can eat a Big Mac, buy paint, stock up on quasi-fascist automotive decals, buy jewelry, get a break job, have your elk bow restrung and buy fabric by the yard. Oh, and there's that guy in the wheel chair that hands out stickers at the front door.

3. What's bad about Wal-Mart?

I can never get a parking space with 400 yards of the building. There isn't one close to my house, I have to drive four blocks just to get my savings on.

4. What kind of responsibility comes with being the the world’s largest retailer?

Being environmentally conscious. Respectful to local economies. Treat your employees well and pay decent wages. Be fair -- don't let the unions or your vendors push anyone around. That's your job.

5. How is Wal-mart using it’s power, clout and influence?

To their fullest capacity.

6.
What decade do you think Wal-Mart “lives in”? 1950s, 1960s, etc.

1950's
1960's
1970's
1980's
1990's
2000's

Do you have any other comments?

Good luck with the rebrand. FYI, though, don't try to be Target. As it turns out, Target already does that. And that MySpace thing? What did you think was going to happen.

Do you know who I am?

I'm the Hoff! This guy is probably the most talented man on the planet. I mean, no wonder he's so big with the Germans. Take one look at this video and you'll agree, this chap's got it going on. Don't hassle the Hoff!

NICE!

Why Turkey will never beat Brazil

I know that this is from the 2002 World Cup but, well, I like it.

Wutha?

Okay, Mr. Badway -- if that is your real name -- comment on this. What is going on with the refs over in Germany? I mean really. It would seem that there are an awful lot of yellow cards and red cards being shown at this years World Cup. Did they import these guys from the NBA? I'll take my answer off the air.

The world is dying for Nick Badway to give an update on how relations are going with Subway? Are there still talks ongoing? Any news from Jared or Todd? Come on, man, you can't draw us into your drama only to leave us hangin. What gives? Must be too wrapped up in the World Cup to blog. GIVEITTOMENOW!™

HAVE YOU SEEN THESE MEN?

MISSING
HAVE YOU SEEN THESE TWO MEN?
If you have any information as to the whereabouts of either of these men, please contact the appropriate authorities. They were last seen posting clever content on the popular blogging community eBlogger nearly two weeks ago. Dwardisimo Rex is most notably known for creating the blog GIVEITTOMENOW!TM. Poppersmoke was seen regularly as a faithful commenter to several highly sophisticated blogs. If you spot either men, DO NOT APPROACH THEM. They are considered armed and well-equipped with clever wit. Contact Nick Badway immediately at nickbadway.blogspot.com.

TUNIT®

Posted in the spirit of the World Cup. I have kids who are very active in sports. Specifically soccer. When it comes time to buy new boots for the kids it can get expensive. Side note: we call them boots as a lame attempt to superficially align ourselves with our forefathers from the old country where football (soccer) is part of the culture. Anyway, it gets really expensive. The tall boy, who is 17 this month, wears boots that range from $150 to $200 per pair. The next two free-loaders are still in youth boots which range from $24-$45. Well, the math is pretty simple. But what's not simple is that the tall boy plays an elite level which requires him to travel to different places to compete. What's so complex about that, you ask? Well, the ground conditions are different. Not only by region, but by weather. If he played on one local field all the time, we'd get one pair of boots. But since he plays at two dozen complexes in one year, it requires more than one pair of boots. He will need hard ground boots for...well, really hard and dry surfaces like you see in very hot and not well cared for areas and some cases where there is speed turf. He will also need firm ground which is most common to this area. Then he will need soft ground boots which are common in the north and other areas with very tall, thick grass. Now, if it rains, he needs long spikes so he's not slipping around getting hurt or hurting others. And let's not even get into indoor or trainers. So, you kind of get the idea that this can get a little out of control. I mean, this kid has more shoes in his closet today than I've had in my lifetime. This kid gives Imelda Marcos a run for her money. This is why I'm so excited by the new technology ADIDAS® has introduced. One pair of uppers and all the various turf solution as inserts. What a concept! Plus, you can get them in a groovy suitcase! LOOK!!!

I'm the third container on the left.

I know. You're wondering if I actually pulled the trigger and moved into a shipping container. Look at it! It's incredible. How can one resist the bright blue paint or the heavy swinging doors? Well, you can't. Take a look at these cans.



Now, can you resell them? Sure, but as I'm learning by trying to sell my current home, the more details you have that are a little out of the main stream, the harder it is to sell. Of course, unless you're willing to give it away. Will your neighbors hate you? I sure hope so! I mean, why wouldn't any reasonable family be jealous of the rockin' forward thinkers who live in a house made from steel shipping containers? C'mon! Now, go to these two links 1 & 2 to see a bunch of great designs and uses of these menacing shipping containers.

Anyway, you'd want to build one of these beauties out on some land on the edge of a lake. That way you could fish off the second story deck just outside your bedroom. And with a little more flat land so when you got bored of fishing in your underwear, you can cut the grass of your regulation sized soccer field. Just so you know, that will require an extra 4 acres so you can rotate the direction of play when you notice the first sign of wear in the goal mouths. Build one like this.

Apeonaut, the future's foremost moonbound beatmonkey.

There's this cat named Dr. Gecko (Docteur Gecko) who's taken culture jamming to new heights. He's a conceptual grafitti artist who's figured out how to crack into bus shelters and transit posters around the world. Because what he does is on the back side of backlit posters, you can only see it at night or when it's dark. I particularly like this because it highjacks and remessages advertising.

WUHPAW!®